


Salvation is a Strong Word

by emeraldutch



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Non-Mary Sue, POV Original Female Character, Self-Insert, angry at everyone little girl, bonds form whatever, but not enough for her to take on the responsibility to save the world and sht, doesn't give two shits about uzumaki naruto and his talk no jutsu, friendship ofc bc it's something that can never be opted out, non-op character, plans to gtfo of konoha when she's strong enough, scared as fuck little girl, the girl who hates konoha, the story will revolve around team ten, will not try and influence the timeline at all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldutch/pseuds/emeraldutch
Summary: Yes. It truly is. The reason why I wouldn't even try. (SI/OC as Yamanaka Ino)
Relationships: konoha 12/original female character
Comments: 7
Kudos: 52





	1. i'm just scared

Death is also a strong word.

Reminiscent of the time when she was birthed once again by a mother she has yet to know, it may be thought of lightly. Reincarnation is perhaps the glory after the dark, but it really shouldn't be. She was once a writer with the words of violence etched across pages. It was repugnant oftentimes, the way she does her paragraphs with the promise of bloodlust fight. In those moments, she naively thought of herself as someone brave enough to carry the load of a wretched world. She thought she could handle a sword and rip someone else's heart. She made those worlds so she should be made of it too, right? 

But that's all there is to it.

Everything she does, it's always just words, words, _words._

It never truly happened, and maybe that was where her confidence came from. The thought that she will never experience it is what kept her from the horrors. Ignorance grew the more she acknowledges that she's untouchable and savage as she says she is, like her characters. So, in the face of a murderer, killing him wasn't the thing on her mind. It was to _run_ , but she was weak in that too. She was human enough to let the littlest bits of her confidence as the writer of a thousand deaths crumble with her life. 

It is so, _so_ easy to paint a picture of death, isn't it?

What if you were the picture?

* * *

Yamanaka Ino.

There's a horror to that name that not even her parents realize. She was the only one who knew about the name, how it expands beyond being only hers. Back then, Yamanaka Ino was just a girl with a father who died and a mentor who could have at least saved her a cigarette and some fire before he fell. Yamanaka Ino, _she was such a sweet girl_. She had that strong voice and a passion to fight, no matter how she links the weakest of her team. But she is now that _~~sweet~~_ girl with a dead father walking across the room, holding a smile that stops her two-year-old body. She may have stolen her life, but she is not sorry for the girl. She doesn't have a good life at all, and it isn't her fault that she's here after the storm. After the death of her own.

 _Death_.

It's hard bringing it up, even now. Maybe she should get over it, it's a new life after all. But _how_ _?_ When there is a repetitive image in her mind that scratches at the back of her neck and whispers in her ear. Her fingers are cold, a reminder that she isn't truly alive. Her palms are warm, a reminder that she has yet to let this world burn her. Until nothing is left. Again. Until she is in the arms of death. Again. Until the ashes that will soil the ground will remain fragile as the soul who has never truly lived. It's hardly a new life when she's walking on a knife.

"Ino." Her father catches her eyes. The same sea-green eyes that should have just been like a picture of frozen time now blazing with details defined by the length of his lashes and the thick of his brows. "Ino-chan, where are you going?"

_Away._

"Kaa," the shaky tongue of her body answers. She pretends she doesn't know she's dead for a year. Maybe it should be cruel of her, to keep making this man remind him of his wife. But she needs to be reminded.

A shake slowly breaks the full of his lips, tears almost lining the bags of his eyes. Her new father picks her form up with his arm around her small legs and pulls her in a hug, a hand pushing her head to his strong shoulder. He cradles her even though she could feel his tears on the back of her shirt. He holds her even though his breathing comes out like palpitations. She needs to hear the words that could make her embrace the truth even more.

"She's not coming home, Ino-chan."

_So am I._

So is Hannah.

* * *

She licks the cone of ice cream in her hand as her other holds her father's. They stopped a feet away from the scene before them, unlike the other civilians and ninjas that pass by without even looking. Her father squeezes her hand briefly. She only blinks.

It was not Shikamaru, Chouji, that she met first. It should have been them because it was the best for her mental state. There really isn't a reason why she and Uzumaki Naruto should meet first. She had her heart on the wrong sleeve since day one. She had no ounce of pity for the boy in front of her being shooed out of the Akimichi restaurant. So what if he's a child? He's going to grow up with godlike skills and have the best Sensei(s) without the fear of death. He'll be chasing some powerful rogue ninjas and not have to worry about being scared because he's blessed with power since he was born. He'll be Hokage. He won't _die._

So why should she feel pity?

It's a good life he will lead someday. It's a guarantee. It's not something she has. She's Yamanaka Ino, but _she's not._ The only thing she's good at in the body of this girl is _running_. Far away, out into the safe unknown. How is she to take the realities this world has to offer? The way this world is shaped isn't like hers. She's in the center of violence and Yamanaka Ino's life only guarantees to be in it no matter how she is alive at the end.

She doesn't want to be alive. She wants to _live_. 

She hates it here.

Uzumaki Naruto should hate it here.

Everyone should hate it here.

She glances at Inoichi and the downturn of his eyes. She watches him mask his pity with a blank face as he tugs her forward when the boy is no longer in sight. Ino remembers he will die in the future. A question comes in her mind. Should she change it? Should she bring out the confidence she had once upon a time so it will fall back to ignorance once more? Save the world? _How naive._ Jiraiya's summons cannot even do it despite the prophecies they claim yet she'd be stupid enough to even think of retelling this story in a different way.

_How truly naive._

So what if she knows the future of this world? Why should she consume herself with turning the tables for these people? For Konoha? For the sake of Uzumaki Naruto? This isn't a game. This isn't the stories she used to write past midnight that had all the problems solved at the end if she just did it right. She is just a _little girl_. She is just a small one, and she's _so_ scared. Why would she try and break the plot when there are no guarantees that she could survive doing so? Why should she be responsible just because she holds the knowledge of this world at the palm of her hands?

She is weak.

There is nothing else beyond that.

"Ino-chan, you dropped your ice cream again!" Inoichi wipes her hands and mouth with a towel as they enter the restaurant, saying his apologies at the servers that is now bringing a mop and a rag with them.

Don't worry.

She won't drop her life again.

* * *

Shikaku Nara stares at her, his arms behind his head and one leg pulled to his chin. He sits on their couch as they wait for Inoichi who was busying himself in the kitchen. She doesn't back down. 

"How old are you?" His words are slurred, eyes shutting close every now and then. Though she shouldn't take a genius lightly. Especially a genius like a Nara.

She holds up six fingers in front of his face and from beside him. She gives him a gummy smile, just for the sake that he wouldn't calculate that something is terribly wrong with her, outside of her body and outside of her mind. "I'm pretty girl."

The Jounin Commander snorts, turning away from her without acknowledging her statement. "Why don't you go and help your Tuo-san? He's taking so long."

She rapidly shakes her head, the smile slipping off her lips. "I can't."

"Why?"

She buries her face in his side, fisting the material of his vest with the small of her palm. "I can't."

_I can't help him._

She can't help them all.

She could feel his eyes on her again. 

"Is it okay?" She meets his eyes, and he thinks it's about the way she clings to him like a child, with her form curled close to his body. He sighs because he's tired and he doesn't know a lot about her despite the intelligence that is his guarantee since the day he was born. He drifts to sleep because he doesn't understand the death he is to face one day.

"Whatever."

_Yeah, it's whatever._


	2. i hate the demon just like everyone else

Being eight again is annoying.

Being eight again in Konoha is chaotic.

There are things in this world that I don’t appreciate. The Hokage and his dumb speech about the burning flames of Konoha whatsoever could be one. The whole propaganda about all the Hokages could also be one. Inoichi’s smile when he sends me to a school of killers could be one, but I can forgive that since it’s a free card to power, however weak, before I do my thing and move out of this place.

There are also things in this world that destroy me. Completely and inevitably if I don’t prevent it first. Most of it will be consumed by the boy in front of me looking down at his feet and back to my eyes again. Most of it will be because of a blonde wearing an orange shirt who doesn’t know I will totally smack him in exchange for his soon-to-be godlike powers. This boy who will grow up with the most unrealistic jutsu and doubtful determination, although still a child, could actually kill me if I let him talk me out of my fears. I don’t know about these kids, but fear keeps me alive at this point.

Am I a coward?

No, _no dear_. I’m just trying to survive.

He’s eight, I know. _I know_. The way he fidgets to sit beside me on the bleacher with his eyes lined with the smallest hints of tears, I wish I could say I pitied him. I see how he looks at me, as if asking permission, one Umino Iruka following his movements with his body stiff and brows furrowed because the Chuunin is not yet Naruto’s Iruka that I know him to be. I really wish I could pity him.

If I didn’t know about his future then I would have spared some kinder attitude, but that’s the problem. _I know_. If I so much as involve myself with the main character then I’m only going to spiral into discord.

My name is Yamanaka Ino, but I am Hannah. Yamanaka Ino survives at the end of this show. Hannah? _I don’t know_.

And because I don’t want to evolve my emotions into something that benefits the sad boy of the present, I look him up and down, uncaring if his eyes are still on me or not, then stands up, gathers my things, and walks away. I can feel the anxiety radiating off him when I do these, the way his mouth opens then closes, or the little tremble of his hands and lips. Nara Shikamaru’s lazy orbs, peeking out from his folded arms on the table behind us, connect with mine for the briefest moment before I quickly look away and sit on the next bleacher beside a canon fodder with an unknown name.

I don’t let the way Shikamaru’s eyes lingering longer distort me. We aren’t really friends anyway. Despite the fact that we’re going to be in the same team one day because it’s an apparent tradition, I swear we just don’t play the same game.

Shikamaru will not make me regret anything.

* * *

“Everyone’s calling him a demon,” Chouji frowns, eating his barbecue in a slow pace as he looks down. “I’ve been called names, but… Naruto…”

Our parents brought us to the Akimichi Restaurant again on a separate table. The adults discuss all things shinobi and, since no one was free in their homes to babysit the children, they brought us along within hearing range. But we can hear everything about it. The Kyuubi is a really popular discussion, but so is the Uchiha when it’s nightfall and the place is consumed with only a squeak of noise. Because of this, Chouji’s small ramblings are clear to my ears.

“So what? Demon is a nice compliment.” I shrug, taking a big bite of my barbecue.

The simultaneous ‘what’ of my two companions made me roll my eyes. Shikamaru is waken from his slumber and his mouth is in a straight line. He stares at me like he did in the academy. An eight-year-old really isn’t threatening, but Shikamaru makes me wonder just why is he so worked up about it.

“What?” He repeats without the drawl. He sits up straight, a challenge in his childish eyes.

Sighing, I meet his stare. “Yes.”

“What do you mean?” Shikamaru Nara furrows his brows, unhappy with my answer. “Tell me.”

Chouji looks at both of them alternately. There’s nervousness in his voice when he shakes his head. “Don’t fight. Shika, don’t fight. I think Ino means well.”

It only took one Chouji to make Shikamaru groan and give up with talking to me, maybe even wanting to start a debate, with a small smile to his direction. Before burying his face in his arms again, he glares at me. At an eight-year-old, I raise a brow at this.

Shikaku Nara stares at me from the other table. I raise my brow at this too, mouthing a ‘what’ in his direction. He takes a swig of his beer before turning to Inoichi when the head of the Akimichi clan leaves.

* * *

“Demon is a compliment?” There’s amusement in Inoichi’s tone, a corner of his lip raising. “Ino, what do you think of the blonde boy in your class?”

“Why should I think of him?” My nose scrunches up when I meet his gaze. “I don’t like him.”

There’s a pause before he continues. “Why don’t you like him?”

“Because he’s a demon.”We’re really just going in circles if he keeps on asking me about the Uzumaki. There is a truth in everything I say, he should know. It’s not just me being infected with the status quo of some kids, or the horrible ways of some adults. I really don’t like the boy.

Inoichi’s amusement fades at this answer, a frown on his face. His hand settles on top of my head. Why is everyone frowning at me anyway? It’s not world-destructing that eight-year-old me is hating on an eight-year-old boy. Don’t worry, there will be plenty to love him in the future, Inoichi included. I’ll be fine with that as long as I’m so far away from the war that’s about to happen. So, I’m sorry Uzumaki Naruto. All the bullshit talk about bullshit peace and bullshit friendship isn’t going to fish me out of my plans.

“Ino-chan.” I meet Inoichi’s tired eyes, but he tries to smile. “Tomorrow, I’ll be teaching you more about chakra.”

For the first time, I am relieved.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto hates me too.


	3. i still think about death

Me and Nara Shikamaru.

We met when we were four. The sleepy toddler is draped across his father's shoulder as he carries him through our home. His drool falls on his father's back, and Nara Yoshino wipes her son's face with a clean towel. She gives me a smile when Shikamaru is dropped beside me on the couch, his father beelining for the present sake on the table. Yoshino pinches Shikamaru's cheek, a small whine coming out of the little Nara's mouth. Yoshino still smiles at me. Subconsciously, I edge away from the pair, bringing my knees to my chin, bowing so half my face is covered. 

There is something about her warmth that pulls me back under. I'm still drowning in my fears, I know I am, but Nara Yoshino's smile is an anchor to my leg that drags me down to the dark again. I like to think I am guilty of the choices I would soon make. I thought maybe I am earning myself my conscience for not using the weapon in my mind. The truth is, Yoshino only shows me so much of death that looms above her person though she was never really an important character. But I can't seem to figure out if I care about her.

Shikamaru stirs and Yoshino leaves the room to join the adults. His little hand hits my face when he yawns and only squints his small eyes at me before going back to sleep. I hit him back with a slap on his forehead that makes him jump wide awake and cry on the floor. Funny. Why did I expect him not to care?

The adults run back to the room, eyes wide open with kunai in their hands and a shadow looming above Shikaku. They see Shikamaru pointing at me while crying. With a sigh, they discard their weapons as their bodies relax.

"Can kids be nice to each other for once?" Shikaku groans, scratching the back of his neck before walking over to us and picking up his son. "Can't I have a good time for just one day? How troublesome."

Yoshino throws a book at him she grabbed from a table near her. "Shikaku! Stop saying that around your son or he'll pick up that bad word from you. How troublesome, how troublesome? What's troublesome is your laziness and you go on and blame others for---"

At this time, Inoichi moves to sit beside me, putting me on his lap. "Ino. It's your birthday and you should be kind to people who come to visit you on your special day."

I point my finger at Shikaku's son. "He hit me!"

Inoichi rolls his eyes, smiling. "Why would Shikamaru hit you, Ino." He then pulls me up in the air as he stands, holding me by my armpits to dangle in front of the Naras. "Come on and say sorry."

My face twists in disgust as I realize this still isn't the lazy unbothered Nara I know him to be as he sneezes in front of me and his snot flies to my hair. I begin to cry. "Fuck!" 

Yoshino hears the curse from my mouth before I even say it. She runs over to Inoichi and pinches his ear while yelling accusations of being a bad parent. The Akimichi and the Hyuuga walk in the house next. Other clans started arriving and soon I am blowing out my birthday candles and asked to make wishes.

I only wish to live.

* * *

_6 years old_

There are many instances in which I don't lift a finger to help anyone. I think the only people that I helped out was Chouji when he fell and Shikamaru when he couldn't find his father in the market. We were acquaintances and I would be a dead kid if I just left them there. Inoichi already scolds me a lot so I hope to lessen the stress that it causes both of us by doing the bare minimum to his friends' children. Besides, I don't really mind Chouji and Shikamaru. We're not friends, but it'll be bad to have bad blood with future teammates. Apart from them, I don't bother myself with anyone. Not with Sakura getting bullied by Ami even though I was just in front of them and whistling a random tune under my breath. Most definitely not with Naruto when I pass by him on the streets getting all kinds of shit from adults even though sometimes I feel his eyes on me. I met his eyes once and was only greeted with a sneer even though there were tears in his eyes.

Maybe deep inside I actually wanted to help him, but I was six and there is this big man yelling at him. I am a coward. I've said this before, but I don't want to be involved. Especially if I can't even defend myself if I defend this boy. _Don't worry._ It's not a forever thing for Naruto. He's the main character. He'll get over it. (How many times should I even repeat this?)

One time Shikamaru asked me if I'm heartless. I honestly told him I'm scared to loop myself into other people's struggles. Sometimes Chouji stares at me and looks away with a hint of sadness or disappointment in his eyes. I don't bother to apologize. I want to explain, but they're not ready for that conversation. I guess death changes a lot of people.

And then one fine day forces me to have a conversation with the main character.

After Hinata got teased by a bunch of schoolyard bullies and Naruto comes to the rescue, Naruto, who is supposed to be used to me passing by him, suddenly bursts into anger when he sees me the next day and pushes me to the ground with his fists balled tight. I think he saw me watch Hinata get teased for a few seconds while eating a sandwich on the way home before leaving the scene. I still remember how he looked at me.

"Hey, Naruto!" Shikamaru, his shoulders straightening in surprise, forgets that he's lazy for a second and rushes over to us without dragging his feet. "What's wrong with you?"

I push him back behind me as Chouji, ever the kind one, helps me stand up. 

His bangs cover his face so I can't really decipher the expression on his face. "Why are you like this?"

With those words, I remember that even though these kids are five or six years old, their thought process is too mature for their age. They are sometimes more aware than adults and I don't know if I am comfortable. I know exactly what he's trying to say though, but I pretend I don't. "Are you crazy?"

Naruto finally lifts his head and there's a fire in his eyes I can't remember ever seeing on him when watching him on television. He takes a step forward. "What's wrong with you? I understand if it was me, but you're worse than me! Do you pass by everyone needing help? Are you a monster?"

"Hey!" Chouji half-yells. I know Chouji understands then what the boy is trying to say. Perhaps it was the me that always helped him for professionalism's sake that causes him to jump to my defense. "Ino is not like that."

"What a drag." Shikamaru drags his palm down his face as he chooses to confront me instead. It's quite a funny picture considering he's way younger than me mentally. "What is he talking about, Ino?"

I shrug. "How should I know? Maybe the demon finally got into his head."

I wanted Naruto to back away and those few words I expect to hurt him, but it just riles him up and inspires him to punch me in the face. He sits on my stomach and pins me to the ground by the shoulders as his tears fall on my face. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

Shikamaru and Chouji stand still, taken aback by the attack for a second before grabbing on to his arms and pulling him off me when he tries to punch me again. He struggles in their grip and he's still crying and shouting at me. "You can pass by me all you want, Yamanaka! You can pass me by all you want! I am a demon, you say! But to others you are! To others you are..."

His thoughts are all over the place. Shikamaru and Chouji let go of him and there are tears forming in my eyes as I watch Naruto fall to his knees and wail. That punch hurt and I understood what he said. I stand up and start running home without my company. They call after me, but I don't look back. 

_To others, I am the monster._

How is that possible? I only want a future. Other people's struggles can wait behind my own fears.

* * *

_12 yrs. old_

Iruka eyes his class before checking the attendance. I still sit by the window with thoughts about war and demons. My eyes dart to the front where Iruka calls up the names of his students, letting them introduce themselves one by one. He is now Naruto's Iruka that I know from the show. His voice is more tired and less reserved though he doesn't make me feel like he is a stressed teacher with the way his legs are apart and how good his posture is. The children chatter away as I keep myself from falling asleep while waiting for my turn. The Rookie Nine is here.

I am still here.

"Yamanaka Ino." My eyes meet the Chuunin's and Iruka repeats my name when I continue to stare at the man with a blank face.

Jumping in my seat, my palm touches the table to balance myself when my foot hits the back of the bleacher. "Good morning everyone. I am Yamanaka Ino and I still wish to be the strongest kunoichi the Fire has ever seen."

My voice is high when I tell the Chuunin the same thing that every girl in the room desires to be. The same script I've been reciting to everyone since birth. I think it's wise to desire to be the strongest. Maybe it will serve as the little fire to guide me back to my place once I reach the end of the tunnel and find only death in its wake. No one can be the strongest unless a god, a _prophecy_ says they are. It's blasphemy in its own way. In my own desperate way.

I sit down when Iruka nods with a little smile on his face before twisting to the seat above me and calling up Sasuke. He introduces himself and I can't believe I almost forgot he existed. His whole dream still rotates around killing his older brother. I can't blame him. I can't blame Itachi either.

To my relationship with the rookie nine before this last year of ninja academy, I can't say I've had conversations with them.

Apart from Shikamaru and Chouji, I keep everyone at a safe distance. The only conversations I've had with Kiba is if he's asking for an extra pencil and I say no then he goes and calls me a bitch in a whisper, thinking I can't hear him. I throw a broken pencil at him every time. Sakura and I aren't frenemies and she is her own rival in love (or obsession). My conversations with her are in kunoichi class where she likes to throw it in our faces how much she loves Sasuke. So does everybody else, apparently. Her determination is an advantage though. I never approached Hinata or Shino. Sparring is the only interaction I've ever had with Sasuke and I almost beat him once. I haven't talked to Naruto since six years ago. He has this strong rivalry going on with the Uchiha kid and I assumed he forgot about me after receiving Iruka's friendship, but he still glares at me when we pass by each other. Though I may have just imagined it.

I hope to begin this last year with developed skills and graduate ready to face possible deaths.

* * *

_Setting: Nara Clan Home_

Shikamaru's head rests on his palm as he sits beside his mother on the kitchen table early in the morning and stirs the noodles absentmindedly with his chopsticks. "What a drag. Everything about her is troublesome."

"Who?" Shikaku stops eating and looks at his son. 

Yoshino laughs beside him. "Shikamaru, do you have a crush?"

Shikamaru's face twists in disgust as he rolls his eyes at his parents. "It's Ino. It's already troublesome to be in a team with her and now you're making her my crush."

"And what about Inoichi's daughter?" His father raises an eyebrow at him. "Did you get into a fight again?"

"Shikamaru, how many times have I told you both to stop fighting each other?" Yoshino's forehead wrinkles as he scoops more noodles in his bowl. "You're graduating and becoming great people of Konoha soon as a team and you're still in this phase? And Chouji has to trouble himself with you both."

"Why is it my fault?" He leans back on his chair with a sigh. "I usually don't bother with her as it's too troublesome, but it's getting annoying. How do we carry missions if she doesn't care to help anyone? Even with the little things?"

Yoshino and Shikaku carry on eating, but he notices his parents make eye contact for a split second before his mother turns to him and pinches his ear. "Why aren't you eating? You're going to be late and you want to stare at us all day---"

He yells in pain as he removes his mother's grip on him. "I'm eating! I'm eating!" He rubs his ears, groaning once his mother lets go. "What a drag."  
  


"What was that, Shikamaru?!" He doesn't repeat himself and Yoshino turns his ire towards his father. "Didn't I tell you to stop saying those words around him? Look at him now! Lazy like you...slacking off. I don't know what to do anymore."

And Shikamaru doesn't know what to do either. In actuality, Ino and him rarely even fight while growing up together. Most times they get along because of her interest in Shogi and Go. There are hard conversations she can keep up with him and difficult words he uses that only she can comprehend. They're also both too tired to start fights and some days she gets irritated easily for him to bother even talking to. She also says a lot of weird stuff and phrases from an unknown language. He sometimes wonders if she's making up her own language like what toddlers do. 

When they do fight, it's serious, and Chouji doesn't even know what to do, but he always sides with him as they are the closest. It's not even Shikamaru's fault this time as she's the one who hurt Chouji. His best friend doesn't say anything about it, but he knows how he feels.

Why would she even tell them who had been with her for years that she never really considered them as her friends? He doesn't care about what she says. It's Ino, and he's used to how troublesome and full of shit she sometimes is. Frankly, he can't even figure out if they are truly friends or are just a result of team traditions. He doesn't really care what's real or not about it, but that wasn't the case for Chouji and that's the problem.


End file.
